Cantonese 101

Master Oh contemplates Cantonese

My recent trip to Hong Kong has renewed my interest in Cantonese. However, this little dialect continues to baffle me. It seems like if you speak 'literally correct' Cantonese, you'll most likely get laughed at by the native speakers!

Here are some of the more intriguing examples I learned from my friends (I made my own romanisation and mixed Traditional and Simplified Chinese characters from copy and paste):

Most basic of all, we know that you don't say 谁(sui) when asking who it is. Instead, you say 邊個(bin gor). Similarly, you write 是(si) and 不是(but si) but you say 係(hai) and 唔係(mm hai) instead. So you must ask 你係邊個?(nei hai bin gor) rather than 你是谁?(nei si sui) in those kungfu shows when the intruders jump into your path. Else your intruders will laugh at you, ha!

When you go around shopping, you don't say 這個(ze gor) and 那個(na gor) to the shopgirls. It's 呢個(li gor) and 嗰個(gor gor). And if you want to ask them out, it's 一齊(yat cai) to go somewhere together instead of 一起(yat hei). You know, like 一齊去偷欢?

To smoke, you say 食 煙(sek yin) which literally means to eat the smoke. But for this, Hokkien goes one better: 吃煙支(jia hun gi), meaning to eat the whole cigarette!

This one really amuses me: you say 行(hung) for 走(zao). And when you really do say 走(zao), you mean to run!

So it seems those Cantopop songs have been misleading me all along. Beyond was taking us for a ride all along by telling us to 一起高呼Rock n' Roll. And shouldn't it be 一齊行过的日子? Or is Andy Lau reminiscing about someone who went jogging with him? :p

Jackie Cheung shouldn't be singing:

终於看见, 在这热识的路旁
zhong yu hon gin, zoi ze sou sek dek lou pang
那个他静静凝望你
na gor ta zen zen yin mong nei

instead it should be:

终於看见, 在呢個热识的路旁
zhong yu hong gin, zoi li gor sou sek dek lou pang
嗰個他静静凝望你
gor gor ta zen zen yin mong nei

And of course, the line from my favourite Cantonese song of all time - K歌之王 - should be changed from:

谁是垃圾, 谁不舍我难过, 分一丁目赠我
sui si la sup, sui but sei ngor nan gor, fan yat ding mog cun ngor

to:

邊個係垃圾, 邊個唔舍我难过, 分一丁目赠我
bin gor hai la sup, bin gor mm sei ngor nan gor, fan yat ding mog cun ngor

Bad singing won't stop me from attempting Cantonese songs, but I won't dare speak to the natives lest I become a laughing stock!

But as you see, my Cantonese is actually quite 没得顶(mou dat deng) right? :D