Queer News

Hong Kong here we come!

Ok, this isn't really hot off the press, but Hong Kong has thrown out its anti-gay laws, which like ours originated from British Colonial times mehears. No thanks to ST for deciding that this piece of news is not worthy of our time. It pays to snoop around a little. Oh, and so did Fiji!

Yet another reason for our quitters to part for fairer shores?

Theme Song

They're better than sliced bread!

Do you know that a simple prop has a theme song? It's really not that simple, ha!

I've finally put it up at the bottom of the Sidebar. It's REM's first hit from 1987 - the one with the one word chorus. Though not their most popular song, it's still nice. At least to an REM fan like moi.. hehe. And it's not a love song by the way. :p

To those who have asked me, now you know why a simple prop and not a simple blog or whatever crap. Hey, the lyrics have been there all along! :)

It's hay time!

The sun is shining again!

I was taking a nap a while ago when my phone beeped. Suddenly, all is bright and shiny again. :D

I can see clearly now the rain is gone
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshinin' day
It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshinin' day

I think I can make it now the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I've been praying for
It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshinin' day

Look all around, there's nothing but blue skies
Look straight ahead, there's nothing but blue skies

-- Jimmy Cliff, I Can See Clearly Now

Apocalypse Now

Don't just sit there! Run!

Oil prices has now gone beyond US$70, and local petrol is almost $2 a litre. Very soon, oil will very likely reach analysts' estimate of over US$100.

OMFG. The world is coming to an end. Start packing now!

Everybody's an IT Consultant

Consultant Oh at work

I have a new job.

And I didn't have to prepare a resume, send out applications, or even attend interviews. Just a little observation, and re-examination, did the trick.

I've been seeing numerous "IT Consultants" mentioned in our newspapers, magazines, and on the Internet, but not a single Software Engineer, Programmer, IT Analyst or System Administrator. If you flip through Saturday's Recruit, you'll probably find hundreds of such jobs, but you'll have to dig really hard to find any "IT Consultant" positions. So where do all these IT Consultants come from?

Then I took a hard look at my job and brought out the checklist. I work with clients. Check. I gather requirements from them. Check. I propose solutions. Check. I occasionally ask them to piss off when they demand too much. Check. I mock at their intelligence levels. Check.

Hey, I'm an IT Consultant too! :D

From today, I'm going to ditch the modest title of Software Engineer and call myself an IT Consultant. Nevermind that most of the time I'm sitting in front of the computer writing code and fixing bugs. Just picture this: Oh the consultant in a smart Raoul shirt and Kenneth Coles, complete with tie and cuff links, lugging a laptop around town and rescueing clients from the doldrums of IT ignorance. The Rob Thomas imitation hair will have to go, though.

Besides, going by the trend nowadays, Software Engineers will likely go extinct in the future. All we have to do is create the designs and there are programs to generate code. By then, like a true consultant, we'll just have to talk and talk all day, with lots of coffee to go along.

All you wannabes out there, fret not. It doesn't matter the nature of the job, as long as it's IT-related and you're not doing it for yourself. So even if all you've ever done was to create a web-page for someone, you qualify as an IT Consultant too. Anyway, now that the Internet boom is over, the once-ubiquitous Webmaster is no longer an official occupation, but merely a secondary post pushed to the lowliest IT guy in the company to keep him off his tea-breaks.

So let's all be IT Consultants. :)

Cool. With this new job, I'm already looking forward to tomorrow and the long week ahead.

Yeah, right.

Cantonese 101

Master Oh contemplates Cantonese

My recent trip to Hong Kong has renewed my interest in Cantonese. However, this little dialect continues to baffle me. It seems like if you speak 'literally correct' Cantonese, you'll most likely get laughed at by the native speakers!

Here are some of the more intriguing examples I learned from my friends (I made my own romanisation and mixed Traditional and Simplified Chinese characters from copy and paste):

Most basic of all, we know that you don't say 谁(sui) when asking who it is. Instead, you say 邊個(bin gor). Similarly, you write 是(si) and 不是(but si) but you say 係(hai) and 唔係(mm hai) instead. So you must ask 你係邊個?(nei hai bin gor) rather than 你是谁?(nei si sui) in those kungfu shows when the intruders jump into your path. Else your intruders will laugh at you, ha!

When you go around shopping, you don't say 這個(ze gor) and 那個(na gor) to the shopgirls. It's 呢個(li gor) and 嗰個(gor gor). And if you want to ask them out, it's 一齊(yat cai) to go somewhere together instead of 一起(yat hei). You know, like 一齊去偷欢?

To smoke, you say 食 煙(sek yin) which literally means to eat the smoke. But for this, Hokkien goes one better: 吃煙支(jia hun gi), meaning to eat the whole cigarette!

This one really amuses me: you say 行(hung) for 走(zao). And when you really do say 走(zao), you mean to run!

So it seems those Cantopop songs have been misleading me all along. Beyond was taking us for a ride all along by telling us to 一起高呼Rock n' Roll. And shouldn't it be 一齊行过的日子? Or is Andy Lau reminiscing about someone who went jogging with him? :p

Jackie Cheung shouldn't be singing:

终於看见, 在这热识的路旁
zhong yu hon gin, zoi ze sou sek dek lou pang
那个他静静凝望你
na gor ta zen zen yin mong nei

instead it should be:

终於看见, 在呢個热识的路旁
zhong yu hong gin, zoi li gor sou sek dek lou pang
嗰個他静静凝望你
gor gor ta zen zen yin mong nei

And of course, the line from my favourite Cantonese song of all time - K歌之王 - should be changed from:

谁是垃圾, 谁不舍我难过, 分一丁目赠我
sui si la sup, sui but sei ngor nan gor, fan yat ding mog cun ngor

to:

邊個係垃圾, 邊個唔舍我难过, 分一丁目赠我
bin gor hai la sup, bin gor mm sei ngor nan gor, fan yat ding mog cun ngor

Bad singing won't stop me from attempting Cantonese songs, but I won't dare speak to the natives lest I become a laughing stock!

But as you see, my Cantonese is actually quite 没得顶(mou dat deng) right? :D

Hair Poll Results

Ok, it's time to analyse the poll results. Let me come clean first: I voted twice, on 2 and 4, as I needed to test the thing. Below are the results:

What should oh do with his hair?

1. Cut it - 3 votes (27%)
2. Let it grow - 3 votes (27%)
3. It doesn't matter - oh looks like a dork anyway - 0 votes (0%)
4. I don't care about oh's hair! - 5 votes (45%)

Total votes - 11

A number of revelations and conclusions:

1. Most conclusively, I don't look like a dork - because no one voted it. Everybody's so nice. :D
2. I know of only 2 gals who voted, and both voted to cut it. Seems like gals prefer guys with short hair (unless you really look like Rob Thomas of course).
3. A total of 11 votes coming from an estimated 7 voters (excluding myself) were collected. This is a massive turnout if you consider the number of people who voted for our president.
4. There seems to be a vote from someone anonymous to let it grow. Strange when you consider the fact that he or she has probably never seen me.
   
5. There are some who don't care about my hair but cared to vote twice. Ha!
6. The electorate is split between 3 choices. Great. I created this poll because I was torn between cutting and not cutting. Now, I'm torn between cutting and not cutting and the fact that some of you don't care about my hair.

Guess I'll leave it for the time being then. :)

J was kind enough to provide a sneak peak of me with Rob Thomas' hair. I left the picture at the end so that you can read finish this post before you pass out or have a seizure from seeing it. The eyes have been masked intentionally. :p


Pretty hideous huh.

Mars Hoax

By the way, if someone (like my colleague who just did) asked you to go see Mars on the 27th August, ask him or her to go fly kite with you better.

The Artful Dodger at Work

Today marks the first anniversary of my current predicament job. Yes, the Artful Dodger, that is moi, has been hard at work for a year already, if y'know what I mean. ;)

And what better way to celebrate than to be on sick leave? Gastric flu - the catch-all of all ailments. Looking at the amount of medicine the doctor gave, you'll think I'm bedridden or something. And I didn't even mention my insomnia!

I was initially tempted to put up a picture of a tomb, but decided otherwise. I'll be positive instead. The chicken rice man at the hawker centre near my house sort of reminded me to look at things in a different perspective.

I had asked him last night if his job is siong or, more importantly, sian. But no, he takes it all in his stride, despite the long hours. We then went on to discuss worldly issues like competition, foreign talent and the state of the economy.

Sian has become the buzzword of our restless, thrill-seeking generation. Every other day, somebody around me, be it a friend, colleague or whoever, would grumble that he or she is sian. Nobody ever mentions anything about a wonderful life or a fantastic job (ok, maybe the latter doesn't exist).

In the grand scheme of things, our lives really aren't so bad. Especially after taking away work stress, low EQ bosses, backstabbing colleagues, office politics, unreasonable clients, low pay, disappearing bonuses, retrenchment, income tax, credit card bills, house/car/education loans, inflated housing prices, expensive cars, record-high fuel prices, inflation, traffic jams, COE, ERP, media monopolies, the evil cable company, government suppression, cowboy presidents, junk mail/spam, viruses/trojans/spyware, relationship/family problems, crying babies, boring lifestyles, bad hair days, acne outbreaks, occasional diarrhoea, insomnia, anorexia, weight problems, haze from forest fires, terrorist threats, SARS, bird/pig flu, mad cow diseases and the crazy weather.

I do hope you concur. :)

Well, at least I can still blog and you can still read it, non?

Seriously, though, everything's just fine. We're not homeless and starving in a war-torn third world country. Be contented.

So if you're still sian, here's a song for you. I can't quote you any dead philosophers, leaders, or scientists, but I do know quite a few wacky - and often violent - rock stars. This one, though, is from REM. They're neither wacky nor violent, just plain brilliant. And this is one of the few songs from them you can actually comprehend.

Turn up the volume, sing along to it and feel sorry for yourself. When you're done, get over it and stop whining. Just remember, everybody hurts sometimes, ok? :)

Oh, and you might need this too.

Cut the crap!

A simple prop's getting sophisticated!

I've not had a haircut for like.. 2 months(?), because I actually wanted to grow it out like Rob Thomas (above). You know, the Spanish kind of look. (Oh, by the way, Rob Thomas doesn't spot that anymore; he's bald now.)

But the hair's not listening. It's getting unmanageable and tends to curl, so I run the risk of looking like the Lion King or, worse, Rod Stewart. I'm torn between cutting it and letting it continue to grow. :s

Why don't you decide for me? In light of the recent Presidential Election nonevent and all, I'm sure everyone would love to exercise their voting rights. This is a democratic blog, after all. In fact, it's so democratic you can vote as many times as you want with different browser sessions. So go on to the bottom of the Sidebar and cast your votes now! I'll take your opinion into serious consideration!

What's it going to be then, eh?

Footy Bits

Following the just concluded match between Liverpool and Sunderland, the revered Armchair Critic, that is moi, shall have his say.

This is a home match, for chrissake! Against a just promoted team! Why on earth are they playing with just one striker? No wonder 1-0 nia. And what's it with formations with a player in the 'hole' behind the striker? All soccer pitches I've seen are flat - no holes. Neh.

And hairstyle-a-match Djibril Cisse has shown that he's really good at running in a straight line. But my granny, or yours for the matter, could probably finish better than him.

On a brighter note, it's heartening that Liverpool has finally found a player who can take a freekick without blasting it straight at the wall (read: Riise, Hamann, Cisse, Gerrard et al). All hail the new freekick king. Xavi! Xavi! Xavi!

Mohamed Sissoko's not that bad too. He looks, runs and tackles like Vieira, but without the sweaty chest!

I'll add a comment on the commentators, many of whom are former footballers. And we all know that footballers aren't exactly the sharpest tools in the shed. Now, when a defender tackles a player and the player falls to the ground, these commentators are always adamant that either a foul is committed, or the player has dived to deceive the referee into giving him a freekick. Don't they realise that it is entirely possible that that player might have accidentally tripped himself or lost his balance? No foul, no dive, nothing. Play on. Not exactly a rocket science concept to grasp, non?

And in earlier news, Chelski has finally signed Michael Essien for €38 million after the longest transfer snore saga of the summer. Essien immediately stated that he isn't worth that amount of money. This boy's such a sweetie for saying that, but don't we all know that already?

That will be all for now. :)

A Clockwork Oh-range

/*
*  The following C++ function simulates 
*  the life of Oh. It goes into an
*  infinite loop. The only way to stop it
*  is to kill the process, 
*  perhaps by changing a job 
*  and doing something different.
*/

#define NEWDAY 0
#define 4AM 4
#define MORNING 7
#define LUNCHTIME 12
#define KNOCKOFF 18
#define MIDNIGHT 24

void AClockworkOhrange()
{
    int time = MORNING;
    bool ever = true ;

    for (;ever;)
    {
        WakeUp();
        Struggle();
        BrushTeeth();
        Struggle();
        Eat();
        goto work;

work:
        Commute();
        Struggle();
        while (time < KNOCKOFF) 
        {
            if (time == LUNCHTIME)
                Eat();
            else
            {
                Work();
                Struggle();
            }

            time++;
        }

        GoHome();
        Eat();
        Bathe();
        while (time < MIDNIGHT) 
        {
            SelfAmuse();
            time++;
        }

        time = NEWDAY;
        goto sleep;

sleep:
        BrushTeeth();
        while (time < MORNING)
        {
            HaveNightmare(); 
            if (time == 4AM)
                Pee();

            time++;
        }
      
        continue;
    }
}

Sharing

I just came across this piece of news on Singabloodypore about three young men in Singapore being prosecuted for music file-sharing.

All you little care bears have been warned hor. If you want to share, do it bit by bit, not on a 'commercial scale'. :p

Queer Stuff

In the most bizarre news in the papers today, it was reported that students from a certain boy school in Singapore are signing petitions to show their displeasure at the school for deciding to go co-ed.

A-ha! I've always suspected something is wrong with that school, having known so many guys who came from it. And the queerest of the queer? A friend of mine going by the name of mango (first from left).

It's not a bad school actually. And who needs girls when "they have everything for young men to enjoy. You can hang out with all the boys!" AHAHAHA.

But if it were my former school, they'll be busy holding demonstrations and signing petitions begging the school to go co-ed. :)

Canned

Oh ya.. the supposed Guns N' Freaking Roses aren't coming after all. I haven't been reading Life lately, so missed out on that piece of news. Think Axl Rose is acting up again and stopping them from performing. Not sure though, haven't read the article.

Just as well, I can't find anyone who digs them to go with me anyway. :(

And one more thing, what's it with concerts I'm intending to go? When I bought Oasis, it was canceled too!

A Simple Plea

I have nothing much to say,
On this bleak Thursday.
Just a simple plea,
To those on the MRT.

You have a really slick phone,
Nice ringtone and all.
But please stop admiring it,
And answer the bloody call.

Oh, you're on Today!

Oh, that is moi, got mentioned on Today today for a previous post I made. Thanks to Anonymous, whoever you are, for telling me. :)

Luckily I removed my name last week, haha. Else my boss might see this blog and my complaints. :p

And I hope that's not my entitled 15 minutes of fame!

All abuzz over no poll or no holiday?

Wednesday • August 17, 2005

Chip Off The Blog with Mr Miyagi

BLOGGERS in Singapore never seem to run out of blog fodder. This week opinions and impressions of the Singapore Presidential candidates made up quite a few blog posts, with sites such as Newsintercom (www.newsin tercom.org) even creating a mock-up online polling system, complete with buttons and live results — albeit with only one candidate for readers to "vote" for.

Or as Rafflesian student "Zeke" (www.exzekestence.blogspot.com) puts it: "We're probably the only country with the longest-serving non-elected elected president."

Sarcasm aside, it was difficult to tell if the pervasive sense of disappointment was about not being able to vote for a president or the loss of a public holiday.

Sengkang blogger "Da*Ping" (www.kanchelsk.blogspot.com) was disappointed at the disqualification of would-be candidate Andrew Kuan (www.andrew kuan.com), saying: "i was so excited to hear that got president elections. now walkover again, lor ... no competition, lah ... no holiday, also ... singapore so many 'talents' ... not even one eligible candidate."

"EntityX" (www.ourlifexp.com) wasn't too upset at having to forego a public holiday because "most of us are working five-day weeks anyway", but still, "i was hoping i could experience an election of some sort. Hey, guess i would have to wait for the general elections."

"My Golf Sucks" (www.mygolfsucks. blogspot.com), a self-described dad and golfer in his mid-30s, says: "Perhaps Mr Kuan does have political aspirations. We all have aspirations … me, I want to become the next Tiger Woods. But at least he's put in place a plan to reach his aspirations. He may not be the Cheng Hu's (Hokkien for the Government) choice for a president, but the way his past performance has been lambasted in front of all is perhaps a bit heavyhanded ... Stand up for Singapore? Who'd dare after this?"

"Alvin Lim", 31, (chlim01.blogspot.com) muses over whether Singaporeans are really as happy with the absence of choice as implied by a Channel NewsAsia online report, "Many Singaporeans welcome Presidential Elections Committee's decision".

He says: "Normally, people would be displeased if they're deprived of the opportunity to exercise their right to vote. But I guess this is what makes us Uniquely Singapore. Or maybe it's just the Singapore press."

Late-20-something "Oh" (www.asimpleprop.blogspot.com) ponders: "Aren't elections about letting the people decide for themselves who's eligible and who they want to represent them?"

Then he decides he's had enough of politics and starts complaining about the cable company charging him "$2 a month for the set-top box I already have".

Maybe it's the post-National Day blues that have triggered the grumbling noises bloggers have been making, or maybe, we just need more of a jolt — like what blogger "Sausage" (www.harosingapore.blogspot.com) experienced recently when he went out to watch a movie in the middle of the Hungry Ghosts month.

He writes: "When I walked into a cinema toilet today, I turned a corner and almost peed on the spot because of what greeted me. It was the life-size poster of (the film) The Maid ... Damn it!! I come to the toilet to pee, not get a heart attack!"

Mr Miyagi a.k.a. Benjamin Lee, has been entertaining blog readers for a year at myveryownglob.blogspot.com, and rues the missed chance to vote for Singapore Idol this year.

Spam in Blogs!

I can't believe this. Not only do we get spam in our emails and phones (that's a story for another day), there's even spam in blogger comments!

My friend's blog got a comment from someone anonymous, saying something like: "I agree with your post. Hey, visit this art site. I'm sure you'll like it". The link brings you to a site that's anything but art - some work-at-home scam-like thingy.

Worse, another one goes:

David Segal on Summer's Real Hotties: They're Not Outdoors. 08/16/05 Mickey Kaus: Brooks and the Bob Dole Fallacy.
Hey, there what a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

I have a diabetic ulcer site. It pretty much covers diabetic ulcer related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :)

What is this world coming to?

You're Beautiful

Yes, this is the song I keep hearing on radio. Or rather, I keep hearing a silly snippet of the song done for one of the deejays on which station I don't know. It reminds me of Beautiful Girl by INXS.

Thanks to SAIMUN for sending it to me.

Here's your 7-day preview link. While stocks last. :)

Oh, haven't you heard?

Oh, you know they like to say, that
Oh, your surname is so funny, keke.
Oh? How do you pronounce it again??
Oh, I've never heard of such a name!

Oh can't take it anymore, so
Oh will have to speak up lor.
Oh, you can't be that ignorant, cos
Oh's the same name as the Chinese president's.

Oh, to give you some more clue,
Oh can be found in our currency notes too.
Oh, and when you eat congee, it's
Oh Guan Heng who makes the oil of sesame!

Oh could go on and on with this, but
Oh would most likely get dissed.
Oh, by now you should have realised, that
Oh is cool, not funny but nice!

Weird

Saw this on someone's blog.

http://www.jobstreet.com.sg/jobs/2005/8/default/20/481102.htm

Discrimination? A joke? Or just plain weird?

Writings

I didn't realise it until a friend commented that my blog sounds melancholic. He didn't exactly say melancholic, but I sort of like that word. :p

Well, you ain't seen nothing yet.

If you look to the right at the Sidebar, there's a Links column. Under it there's an item called Writings containing some other stuff I wrote. It's been there for some time, but few have noticed it (or maybe they chose not to).

Go on, click it and tell me what you think. A little bad poetry might make you cringe, but it won't hurt you.

At least I hope not!

Jaded

What's the chance that in four brothers, only one shows any interest in sports on tv?

My mum must have displaced her sport-loving genes when she gave birth to my three older brothers, and suddenly rediscovered them when I came about. The disparity in this area of interest is tremendous. While they never seem to pay any attention to any sport on tv, I would devour all that is thrown at me: football, basketball, tennis, Formula 1, MotoGP, Tour De France, bowling, pool.. hell, even golf!

Except wrestling of course. That's classified under Theatre and The Arts.

They would rather spend their Saturday nights watching the 627th repeat telecast of some early nineties Hong Kong film. Absolutely shocking.

Surely everyone prefers watching those sleep-inducing nil-nil draws, or cars going round and round a circuit to no end. Non?

This constant losing battle has left me jaded. Think I might just have to fork out that $150 to the evil cable company.

No Guaranteed COE

In case you haven't noticed, the Presidential Election has taken place. But only 3 people turned up and they voted SR Nathan back into office.

But that is best for the rest of us Singaporeans, since we have no common sense, lack good judgement, and cannot decide for ourselves if a person is of integrity, good character and reputation.

Darn. Being in the precinct of The Son, there goes my chance to vote for the first time before I turn thirty.

Well, now we can turn our attention to something that can be just as infuriating and scandalous, and with as much bullying as well. But at least the underdogs will always be 'eligible' to have a go at the big guns.

It's footy season again! :D

Woo! Woo! WOOOOO!!!!!

Old corny stuff

I stumbled upon this old joke that I've seen before. It's so corny it actually makes me laugh again. :p

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

Also, for all the psychopaths out there, how about sending this to your loved ones to scare the freaking hell outta them? You can create your own too!

It's an evil world

Life is hard when Big Brother's against you.

After the furore of TT Durai, SPH has decided to play hero again and dig out the dirt on Mr Andrew Kuan to save Singaporeans from their ignorance. In the past one or two weeks, we've learned more about his employment history than we know about that of the current President, who has been in office for 6 years.

Tough luck, kid. Next time you'll learn not to go against The Powers That Be.

And don't you find it totally bizarre and inexplicable that the three men of the Presidential Elections Committee have more voting power than the whole of Singapore? If they say no, Singaporeans won't get to vote at all. Aren't elections about letting the people decide for themselves who's eligible and who they want to represent them?

It's like the government saying: Here, we've pre-selected these candidates because we know best. Pick one.

Yesterday there was a 'protest' at the CPF Building at Robinson Road. Technically though, it was not a protest as, according to the law, a protest consists of 5 or more persons. There were just four yesterday.

I was there to witness at around 12.30pm. The four just stood there in the sun holding placards. Pretty harmless, but trust our ever-eager police to join in the party.

They didn't just come; it was more like, I quote from this article, "a dozen anti-riot police wearing helmets and knee-high protective gear and carrying shields and batons".

Against 2 men and 2 women holding just placards? (See pictures)

And of course, there was the usual excuse explanation that "a member of the public" had called them to complain about the disturbance.

To hell with politics anyway.

I have a gripe with the evil cable company. Firstly, I called them last week to ask for an additional set-top box. I was told that I can't split the bloody video signal and have to install another cable point instead. And that will cost a mere $150 or so.

Not so long ago, we were told that we couldn't share one broadband subscription with a few computers. Then the competition came along and the evil cable company started giving free routers so that "the whole family could join in the fun". So thoughtful of them.

Now I received a letter from them saying they're going to charge $2 a month for the set-top box I already have. And they are really nice, offering new 'complimentary' digital set-top boxes.

Oh, so sweet of them.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY YOU'RE FORCING US TO SWITCH TO DIGITAL?!

Is it any wonder then, that their shares have been escalating like nobody's business? If you can't beat 'em, buy 'em!

Don't be like me, hand itchy. Sold them 4 months ago... :'(

Career Tips

Steps to becoming a TNP soccer correspondent in the mold of Mr Edwin 'I-told-you-so' Yeo, aka The Greatest Soccer Pundit In The World (amongst other titles):

1. Consult reports from the real experts (available from Internet)
2. Quote a thousand statistics to pass off as an expert (available from Internet)
3. Make 1000 match predictions
4. Remind readers of 1 in 1000 correct prediction
5. Conveniently ignore 999 wrong predictions
6. Add in smart-aleck comments
7. Repeat Step 4 a thousand times
8. Add in more smart-aleck comments (gloating at teams you don't like is a definite plus)
   

Prerequisite: Prior knowledge and experience in the game is a definite no-no.

Disclaimer
Above information may be outdated as the author has, for a few years now, stopped paying for tabloid trash.

NDP on TV (40th repeat telecast)

Today's the first time since 1996 that I actually sat in front of the tv and watched the National Day Parade for a while. Not that I watched it in 96 - I was part of the Navy's Guard of Honour contingent that year.

So watching it reminded me of the fun and hard work then. The best part was pointing our rifles at the gahmen and shooting blanks.. haha. It also made me realise that I've taken part twice (The other time was in Secondary One as part of the combined school choir. Don't laugh!) but never as an audience. Ok, another item on the list of things to do before I die.

A few hours ago I was at the open area above Raffles Place MRT. I was surprised to see so many people gathered there. With so many tall buildings around, they could hardly see anything from the parade at the Padang. And they were taking photos like they've never been to Raffles Place. Some even picnicked there. The weird things people do!

Some MPs/ministers were made to sweat it out at the heartlands celebrations in Yishun, Jurong East, Tampines, etc instead of joining the NDP. They must be cursing their luck. But given the terrorist threats, maybe that is a wise move.

And guess what? The weather's fine again. Nobody knows why it never rains during the NDP. It's the spookiest occurrence during the 7th month every year.

Well, I'll let you in on a secret. It did rain one year and the parade was cancelled. But the television stations slipped in a tape of the previous year's parade, and no one watching at home had a clue. :p

And what on earth is a mobile column?

I managed a record 45 minutes, before I got restless again. That's why I'm here again at my computer typing out this post.

The parade's still on. Enjoy! :)

Happy Birthday Singapore

It's National Day!

Ok.. *yawn*.. but nobody's complaining about the day off. :)

An Indonesian colleague of mine reminded me last week that it is Singapore's 40th birthday, showing just how patriotic I am.

He also mentioned that the theme this year is something like "What kind of Singapore do you want?" (I must have missed that when I skipped over those boring articles on NDP in the papers). Hmm.. that's easy. How about scrapping COE for starters? Then we're talking! :D

He continued to expose me of my nationalism, asking me what the stars and the crescent stand for in our flag. Eh.. is it democracy, peace, progress and the like?

And is the merlion our national icon? I think I know this one. That's just a tourism board gimmick. Surely we don't want a perennially sick vomiting mutant to represent us.

So what's our national icon then? I have no idea!

Anyway, happy birthday Singapore. :)

No commas lah

While the topic of punctuation is still fresh, there's something that keeps grabbing my attention. I often see our local papers and other publications making Singlish statements, for the fun of it. For example, "Vote for your gahmen, leh!"

Nothing wrong with that lah. Just that I don't understand why they insist on putting commas before their lehs and lahs leh. Like the example you saw above loh. Now, we already know that Singlish is not proper English liao, so the argument that having a comma is grammatically correct is moot hor. But just ask any Singaporean lah. When speaking, nobody pauses before the lahs and lehs mah.

Not true meh?

Rockin' old times

Guns N' Roses are coming for a concert!

I thought it was a joke, or just my illusion(:p), when I saw that piece of news on Life today, but it's real!

Ok.. granted, it's not exactly GNR, since there's no Axl Rose or Slash (only 2 original members - Steven Adler and Tracii Guns).. but at least we can rekindle those good old rock hits! :D

~~reminds me of childhood memories, when everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky...

Punctuation

I came across an article on the importance of proper punctuation. It quoted this classic example:

Version 1

Dear Jon:

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours?

Gloria

Version 2

Dear Jon:

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Yours,
Gloria

Pretty interesting, huh?

Another news article reported that a writer from China has came up with the world's shortest novel, consisting of just punctuations, as follows:

：？
：！
“‘……’”
（、）·《，》
；——

That is supposed to represent about 100 chinese characters. And he's offering 140,000 yuan if you can tell him what it means!

Inspired, I decided to write my own novel, coded with just punctuations. It tells the story of a couple having a quarrel, and all the differences they had in the past got brought up. I estimate it to be about a thousand words.

~#&^$@!!
@%$~#%@@!!!
...

Web Browsers

I just tried viewing this blog on Internet Explorer, and it didn't exactly turn out the way I expected. Not that surprising, since I designed the layout and picked the fonts/colours using Firefox.

If you're still using IE, I have one question for you: How does it feel like to be using the dinosaur of browsers at this time and age? Just like using that ancient squat toilet huh?

Firefox is absolutely cool, as everyone should know by now. It's not only fast, but more secure as well (or so we're told). But it's not for the less savvy or the lazy, because the downloaded package is really basic, and you'll have to look for the extensions and plugins to add yourself.

If that's the case for you, you can try Maxthon. Maxthon is IE under cover, but with all the cool features you find in just about every browser except IE itself. Just install and enjoy, simple as that. The caveat is that it is as unsecure as IE, not that this matters to everyone of course. But it should.

And while I'm at it, you should ditch Outlook and try Thunderbird too.

Both Firefox (with the right extensions) and Maxthon contain features like tabbed browsing, mouse gestures, drag-and-drop links, minimize to system-tray, auto-hide favourites sidebar, and so on. To me, mouse gestures is the single coolest and greatest thing to happen to browsers. Together with drag-and-drop links, they make for super-fast surfing.

There are other good browsers, of course, like Opera. But Opera is ad-supported the last I check, unless you pay (and who in the world pays for web browsers?). And I'm only talking about the Windoze world here.

Try them. And trust me, once you get the hang of it, you'll never, ever go back to IE ever again. ;)

Back to reality

I'm back, and wasted. The distance I've walked in the past week is probably sufficient to circle the earth. So this would be a short post, just to let you know I'm not lost in 臭豆腐 paradise. Besides, I find myself short of stuff to write about suddenly.

People like to talk about their travels, but Beijing's such a boring place to write about (apart from the awesome 司马台长城， 北京烤鸭 and 天津狗不理包子） I'm going to spare you the agony. And everyone's been to Hong Kong, non?

That is not to say, though, that I did not enjoy this trip. On the contrary, it was fantastic. This is because, as I've always believed, it's the company that really matters, not the destination. Nor the journey, as the saying goes (the person who said this probably flies first class). I'm already dreaming of my next trip, whenever that may be.

Until then, it's back to life, back to reality. Work still sucks but I need it for the money.